Lose Control (AloisCiel)
by NuiLoopy
Summary: What happens when the Earl Ciel Phantomhive saves a broken Jim Macken from the Earl Trancy? He would want to thank him, right? The only way to thank him is to make sure that Ciel will become his. To love, to cherish, to keep. And he will do anything to make that a reality.
1. Darkness

Darkness. Darkness. Darkness. Darkness coils its implacable fingers around me. I am ever ensnared by it. Its dark blades pierce me to the core. I can feel them. Drawing out every last drop of warm blood, slowly. Even so, I choose this.

Alois pov

Its really happening, isn't it? Its all to real now. Those bumps in the road, the quiet muttering of our drivers. We all stay silent. Whats speaking going to solve? Nothing that's what. Absolutely nothing. We know where we're going. It's almost laughable actually. Cart after cart of young boys who should still be playing with old toys, being carted off as a present to be some sick mans play thing. His toy. Is'nt he to old for toys? It doesn't matter. All we know is every last drop of our purity and innocence is going to be snatched away from us like it was nothing. But what could we do to fight against it? We're tiny- I'm tiny compared to the men that surround us. Why the guns though? We cant do anything. We're a small rabbit surrounded by hunters. We're supposed to be running free, but here we are, not feeling. There is nothing we can do. I'll escape, defiantly, but where to go after? I'll die if I stay and I'll die if I don't.

The large metal gates where opened and I risked glancing upwards. With its many windows, men guarding the entrance, all with the deadly weapons, and the grand, high walls it was hard not to stare in awe. I looked at the other boys and saw a few failing, their mouths gaping open and their eyes wide. They say that eyes are the window to the soul, and if that's true, then just looking at them, I know they will be the first ones to break. To die. Idiots. They stare in wonder, but when will they relies that's this place is not our home? It will never be our home. This is our prison, where our sentence will never end. The price being our bodies, our freedom being death. There is no justice in this world.

The cart wall was let down and we were forced to stand. I achingly followed the line of boys and kept my head facing forwards. They wont know how scared I am. I wont give them that satisfaction. We walked inside, emotionless, and were lined up in rows. All kinds of maids ran out, all choosing one boy and stripping him down before quickly moving onto the next. One stopped in front of me and it took all I could not to spit in her face. She tugged on my shirt and I raised my arms. It was pulled over my head and she dropped it behind her. Her hand then started pulling on my trousers and I stared at her, silently pleading for her not to. She must have understood because she shook her head sadly. The maid pulled them down quickly and then stepped back to allow my space to finish. Hastily, I stepped out of them and kicked them onto my small pile of clothes. She smiled slightly and moved onto the next boy. How dare she?! Strip me of my dignity and then smile at me?! My fist clenched and I struggled to calm myself down. Being angry wont help me now, will it?

Again, we were forced to walk town a corridor, none of us daring to make a sound. Its like the cart journey all over again. Except.. which one is worse? We all knew where we were going then, but now, whats through that door? Its a man, we know that, and we know what he wants.. but.. are we going to die right away? I don't know.

Slowly, the wooden door was opened and we were forced inside. It was a very grand room, with red and gold covering the walls and floor. The carpet was soft on our feet, but we couldn't feel welcomed or comfortable. Even though the room was warm, it couldn't feel homely. Sat in the 'throne' was probably the most disgusting man I had ever seen. A swollen nose, wrinkly skin, long white hair, covered in sores and dressed like he owned the place. Earl Trancy. Trying not to gag, I stared forwards and watched as the line moved. We are just for show, for that sick pervert's pleasure, not worth the air in our lungs, no identity. No nothing.

A cold hand was pushed me forward, causing me to nearly fall over. I quickly regained my balance and watched the Earl motion me closer. Not wanting to get closer than I had to, I took one step forward and glared. He needed to know what I thought of him. Disgusting, revolting, sick, ugly, useless, waist of air, PERVERT.

The Earl stood up and I felt a pain in my chest, his walking stick held up. The force made me fall back, crushing my arm. "Ah.." Didnt like that, did you old man? I heard the man start to stand so I tensed up, preparing for the beating. Just like old times. "Your eyes look dirty!" He moved his head away, disgusted with me. "They're the same colour as rust stuck on a filthy drainpipe!" I heard his footsteps move closer and winced. Here it comes. The force in the strike was sure to leave a bruise, and I curled up around the wound in a vain attempt to protect myself. Another hit in the chest, them my fore head. Not strong enough to kill me, but strong enough to hurt like hell. "Next!"


	2. Toy

I'm not a human being any more. I suppose that's true now. I have no free will, and am just kept around for pleasure. Their toy. I'm their doll that just wont break.

We sat in the cold dungeon, naked, while the maids washed us. I heard a quiet muttering behind me but paid no attention to it. The word fairies was mentioned and I rolled my eyes. Fairies, angels, demons, anything. Its all stories. Just stories for kids to eat up and dream of hope. There's no hope for me. For anyone in this hell-hole.

I lay on my front and felt the luke-warm water cover the skin on my back. Its nice, in a way. Its better than when I was forced onto the cart. Grimy, filthy, disgusting. Add the smell of my sweat and its even worse. The rough broom prickles stabbed my back and scraped the dirt off, and probably a few layers of skin to go with it, leaving it sore and vulnerable. At least I don't smell as bad.

Rows and rows of tiny beds were lined against the wall, cleaner that the dungeon itself was, but not immaculate. Its better than I'm used to though. Finding some dry spot, hopefully away from people who would try to hurt me. I failed though, and here I am. Being prepared like a meal for someones amusement. Luka, I bet you're laughing at me. I failed.

"In bed. Now!" One of the guard shouted. We obliged and slowly all got into the cot-like beds. I heard quiet sobs coming from one of the beds and I shook my head. I wont cry. I'm not like them. I wont cry! Sighing, I closed my eyes and waited for morning.

"UP!" What?! Groaning, I stretched in the too-small beds and heard my joints crack into place. That wasnt comfortable at all. "I said UP!" I heard! One of the perverts servants was walking along the rows, kicking the beds of the boys that didnt wake fast enough. He stood by my bed and pulled his leg back. I shot my eyes open and glared at him. Dont even think about it. He moved on quickly and I sat up slowly, rubbing my arms to try and warm them up. There was a constant ache on my chest and fore head, causing me to hiss slightly. Thats right, the pervert did that, with his damn walking stick. Dirty eyes huh? Ever look in the mirror?

We were washed again and given peices of bread. I gasped quietly and started eating straight away, not bothering to savor the taste. When was the last time I was actually given food? Probably back before mother and father died! The bread finished far to quickly in my opinion, and I looked around to see others had the same thoughts. I guess theyre only feeding us enough to keep us alive. Thats just stupid. You would want us to be healthy right? So why feed us on the bare minamum to-

My trail of thought was lost when one of the maids tugged on my arm. "Get ready. This one first" They kept repeating. Over and over. Im not a 'this one' Im Jim Macken! When I refused to move they started using more force, a few others pushing and prodding me forwards. I sighed and eventually gave in, following them reluctantly. I dont want to. Please someone..help me..

They lead me into a bedroom by the looks of it, but far to small to me the master room. Good. One of the maids found a hairbrush on a dressing room table, while others searched through draws. The one with the hair brush pulled me over to the bed and sat me down on it, another holding me still. She started brushing my hair while I tried to ignore everything around me. Make it stop.

God, Im so weak! I want the others to become braver, yet here I am, close to pissing myself. Make it stop! I was brought back to reality by being pushed upwards. Instinctivly, I took that as a 'stand up' and quickly followed the order. Im so weak. What little clothing I had on was removed, and they game me a..red.. thing. It had sleaves, so I pulled it on. As soon as it was on, one of the maids took the black ribbon and tied it in a large, loose bow. "You have five minutes until the masters butler will take you to him. Dont try to escape" They all left quickly and I growled under my breath. If I could, they would all die. Every last one.

I saw a large mirror and carefully walked over to it, trying not to ruin the maids 'hard work'. My eyes locked onto the flimsy piece of clothing, causing me to groan again. It hardly covers anything. The shoulders are too big with one hanging half way down my arm. The front isnt crossed over enough and keeps flowing around my leg, not covering it. I forced my eyes back up to see my face. My hair was neat and I looked relatively clean, but I couldnt shake the feeling of disgust. One: With the servants for preparing me. Two: The Earl Trancy for trapping me here. Three: With me for not running away now, enjoying the attention. They dont look at me like I want them to, but at least its wanted and not like Im a pile of shit. There is no kindness, but I'm used to that now.

A small smile started to appear on my face, and I held back a laugh. "No kindness" I have nothing left, they all took it away from me. Everything. And now, they plan to humiliate me even more? I can play as well. Why dont I join in there little game? I may be one of the toys, but its doesnt mean I cant play along. I smirk at the mirror and pull at the robe. And I'm going to play dirty.

"Time to go" As the maid said, a butler was standing by the door, his face shocked. I bet you didnt expect me to be smiling. I laugh quietly and walk next to him.

"Lets go then" He stared at me and I waved. "Take a picture. It lasts longer" The butler coughed and quickly regained his profesionalism. "Right. This way" He lead me down the hall and stopped outside a door. I heard a quiet splashing inside and guessed this was a bathroom. Oh god, the perverts in the bath. Holding back a gag, I watched the butler run inside.

"Pardon my lord, but I've prepared Jim for you today"

"Jim! Is that filthy brat really all you have to offer me?!" Oh really now? Filthy brat, ay? Alright. My turn. Slowly, I pushed the door open futher and held onto the edge. Only half my face showed, the hidden side wearing a look of disgust. But if Im going tp play, I have to do this properly.

The Earls face stared at me and glowed a slight red. Gross. I moved my hand up for a better grip and lowered my leg. His face was priceless! I would laugh, but that would ruin everything. Slowly, I peaked around the corner and smirked. That he can see. He moved closer and raised his hands, a heavy blush on his face.


	3. Saved

_You saved me when there was no one else left_

**-1 year-**

_My name is Alois Trancy. I am fourteen years old, and my father is the Earl Trancy. There is nothing wrong with life..._

_Lies. All lies._

_My name is Jim Macken, but I was made to change it to Alois Trancy. I prefer Alois. Jim Macken is dead. I am fourteen, but the Earl is not my father. He is anything but my father. My life has gained and lost everything. I had everything, and it was taken away in a single night. Luka, why did you have to die? My innocence, my dignity, my sanity, my childhood. All lost. Gone._

_I sat quietly in my room and sat in the new clothes of mine. It was laughable really. I put up with the shit I get, I get rewarded with food, new clothes, drinks like Wine and my own room. Being the perverts favourite has its perks._

"Alois!" Damn, what does he want this time?

"Coming father!" Quickly, I ran to the main hall and saw him sitting in that huge throne of his. He tapped the floor with his walking stick, silently telling me to come closer. I obeyed and took a few steps towards the old man. He looked up at me, with that greedy look in his eye. "Strip" I nodded and quickly took of my clothes. What do you want this time? I shivered at the thoughts and looked at the Earl. He slowly stood and raised his stick in the air.

"Father?"

The stick hit me in the chest, knocking me back onto the floor.

"Father, what did I do?!"

Another hit, harder this time and in my stomach. I remained silent and remembered the trick to making these things hurt less. Slowly, I tensed up and tried to shield myself with my arms.

"Disgusting!" The man hit me repeatedly in the face, chest and stomach, harder each and every time. Small red marks started appearing on my body, causing me to ache and look away. Another jab at my forehead. Another at my chest. My stomach. Face. Chest. Stomach. Face. Chest. Stomach. On repeat. Over and over.

"Father!" He was in one of these moods. It doesnt matter how much I cry and beg, he wont stop until he's satisfied. Dear god, just let me die...

BAM

"ENOUGH!" What? Who? "I said ENOUGH! Queens Guard dog, accompanied by Ms. Madame Red. You, Earl Trancy, are under arrest for human trafficking, rape and lying to her majesty" Whats going on? I look up slightly and see.. a boy with an eye patch and a lady dressed in red. The boy looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. There was a small laugh behind me, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise.

"You're a child! There's no way you work for her majesty!" He turned to the woman in red and gave a sickning grin. "But I think I may have a place for you two in my collection~" The lady laughed and shook her head.

"Im afraid Im going to have to turn down that offer, you see-" The boy with the eye patch smirked and took out a pistol from his side pocket, swiftly pointing it at the perverts head. "-I dont let anyone touch my darling nephew, especially vermin like you" The Earl stepped back quickly and glared at her.

"Vermin!? I'll have you know that I am-"

"Going to live the rest of your pitiful life in jail. We know" The boy interrupted with a grin. Whats going on? He looked back at me and nodded. "Madame, help the boy, I'll get the Earl" I stare as the lady walked over to me and held out a hand. The boy.. he's saving me. Saving.. Me! I think he knows Im watching him, as he gives a small smile when he points the gun at the back of the perverts head. "Are you just going to lie there?"

"I-I.." I dont know what to say. The lady.. Madame Red.. took my hand and gently pulled me up. "I-I.." Its over. Its finally over! At last! All thanks to the boy with the eye patch! "I-I..-"

"Dont speak if you dont want to, stress isnt good for you, you know. Trust me" Madame Red laughed and looked over to the boy. "Ciel, could you hurry this up please? This one is starting to bruise and I would like to get some ice on them. Also.. he seems cold" Ciel? So thats my saviours name. Ciel~.

Ciel nodded and pressed the gun harder against the perverts skull. "Move" He obliged and was quickly lead out of the hall. Im free.. IM FREE. Im-

"Darling, whats your name?" Huh? I looked up at the lady and started tearing up. I could change it back to Jim, but who wants a boring name like that? Anyway~ If I keep Alois, I get all the money the pervert left behind.

"My name is A-Alois T-Trancy" She frowned slightly and looked at the ground.

"That thing was your father?!"

"Y-Yes.. B-But please d-dont kill him! I-I still love him.. even if he h-hurt me.." I felt a small piece of vomit reach my throat at those words, however, if I let my saviour kill him, then that boy will be tainted. Let me do it.

Madame Red looked at me shocked, then slowly removed her red jacket. "Here.. Wear this.." I took it and smiled weakly. it was a bit big for me, but it covered me up and would keep me warm, so I suppose thats all that matters. Slowly, I pulled it on and rubbed my eyes.

"Alois, how old are you?" Why do you want to know?

"Im fourteen.." She nodded and sighed. She started mumbling something and I leaned closer to hear.

"Disgusting old man...fourteen... only one year older than Ciel.." Im only one year older! That means... I can thank him! I can..

A grin formed on my face, so I quickly wrapped the jacket around me, covering my mouth.

"Its done!" Ciel walked back inside and ndded at Madam Red. She smiled and looked back at me. "What's his name?" He walked over and knelt beside me, and I took it as an oppertunity to hug him. He seems confused but doesnt move away.

"Alois Trancy" Ciel nodded and slowly pushed me off of him. "Would you like to stay at my manor until we get this all figured out?" Me, stay at his manor?! Yes!

"T-That would b-be n-nice... T-Thank you.." He nodded and pulled me up.

"Lets go then"


End file.
